A Mother Distraught

I stand in the bathroom,
Hiding
While my son naps
Peacefully
In the other room.
Panic
seizes my core
Tears
Flow uncontrollably
Breath
Hard to find
Hysteria
Taking over my
Being.
The core of my foundation now
Precarious
I am lost in an oppressive
Fog
Frantically searching for a
Foothold
But unable to see past the cloud of
Uncertainty
I crumble to the floor.
“Help”
I whisper to no one and
Everyone
Hoping this word will bring me
Guidance
From someone, somewhere in the
Cosmos.
I receive no immediate
Reply
So I gather what little reserve of
Strength
I have left and stand.
Shaking
I wash away the tears from my
Eyes
and look into the reflection of the
Mirror.
“You are stronger than you
Know”
I tell myself and then try to
Believe
There is truth to the words.
©-LRFB 2017

To all the mothers out there.  You are not alone.  We all face so many challenges on a daily basis and it can feel so lonely, but you aren’t alone.  You are strong and courageous and beautiful.

 

You Know You’re an SPD Parent When

People like to give you parenting advice about how you aren’t strict enough with your child and need to try spanking, timeouts, charts and numerous other things to get your kid back in line while you think to yourself, “Yea buddy, I wish those things worked with my child.”

When all your friends ask you where that “cool park” is you posted on facebook because knowing where every park is within a 10-mile radius of your home is mandatory knowledge.

You own at least one pair of noise canceling ear muffs and not because you go to the gun range, but because you never know what noise you will need to cancel out to avoid a meltdown.

You keep buying socks because there never seem to be any in the sock drawer and when you look for the three dozen pairs you know you own you can only find one sock at a time, you know in places like the kitchen, the car, outside, in the dogs bed, under the couch. . . everywhere, except, on the little feet they were bought for.

You know where all the indoor kid’s gyms, playgrounds, and bouncy places are and what the best times to go to avoid the crowds.

Other parents think you forgot your child’s jacket when in reality you have in the car: a long sleeve flannel shirt, a sweatshirt and two types of jackets because you were hoping your child might cooperate and put one on at some point.

You own at least two trampolines and/or swings (because you need at least one inside and one outside), three types of bikes, the spinny rocky thing you saw another SPD parent post on your FB group and you made your husband make a mini ninja warrior obstacle training course in the back yard because you are trying to retain a little bit of sanity.

You are never on time, not because you don’t try but because you child takes their shoes and socks off five times before you make it out the door and you have to chase them around the house 8 times to catch them to put on the shoes and socks, again.

You talk about something your child does to another parent and they say “oh that’s normal, my kid does that” and you scream in your head,”You don’t even know, YOU DONT EVEN KNOW!” while you grimace a smile and nod.

You have a reserve of patience larger than Mother Theresa’s.

*Sensory Processing Disorder is when the body does not correctly take in and process sensory information from our seven senses.  People with this disorder are often overwhelmed or underwhelmed by stimuli from their environment and have trouble reacting as our society would deem “in an appropriate manner.”  Sensory Processing Disorder is not well known to teachers and pediatricians, and that needs to change so the children with this disorder can get the help need.  Read more about my SPD story here:SPD.