The tension spilled from their bodies
As the dark secrets
They could tell to so few
Tumbled from their lips
The bond of sharing a more similar past
then they had previously known
Bringing more relief to them
Than any words or actions could offer
The comfort of knowing
they are Not Alone
Making the journey towards the future
A brighter and more attainable goal.
© 2009 LRFB
I tried a third school, a church school, with no better luck. He continued to have problems, I kept getting phone calls, I kept having to leave work to come get him. He lasted three days before I decided I couldn’t leave him in that place. I watched the “teachers” putting some children down for a nap and how they were interacting with the kids appalled me. I knew I wouldn’t bring him back to that place. There had to be another option, my sister had used an in home daycare with my niece, but they lived across town. I had a flash of asking to move in with her so we could use it also but I knew it was unrealistic.
I started looking for in-home daycare’s with fewer children and therefore less sensory overload. I literally started asking every person that I knew, in hopes I would find a lead. I interviewed a nanny and was prepared to pay more money than I could really afford, but in the end, she wanted even more money than I could pay. I found a lady willing to watch him, I wasn’t totally comfortable with her but I felt like I had my back against the wall. I was having to leave work too often and I didn’t want to get fired and I could keep looking for someone better.
While I continued hunting for somewhere to leave my child that I liked I also reached out to a mother in my Mom’s group. She is a Physical Therapist and I turned to her for advice since I thought his behavior was sensory related. She said I could bring him in for a free unofficial evaluation.
I met with her on a Friday and told her Nate’s story. How he was a head banger when he was a baby. How he crawled at 4 months and walked at 9 months. How he was always go- go-go. How he chewed his shirts and pulled off little pieces of his diapers when he was in diapers. how he would spit out a mouthful of food if I happened to miss that there was a tomato or onion mixed in. How he wouldn’t try new foods. how he only wanted to wear “comfy pants.” How he would literally have a meltdown if I didn’t dry my hands after washing the dishes if I turned to help him and touched him with wet hands. How he never wanted to sleep even when you cold tell he was exhausted, even when he had been a baby. How he struggled severely at school. How he struggled with transitions.. . . I went on and on.
She listed to all I had to say and she told me, “Oh yes, He has Sensory Processing Disorder.”
I was relieved to have an answer. I felt hope. I had a diagnosis.
Now, what the fuck is Sensory Processing Disorder?
Finally, a step forward on a very long, very hard and tearful journey towards helping my child.