I was just So Mad

I went to the new chiropractor to go over my X-Rays.  When I arrived we were lead to a miniature classroom where the doctor explained about the practice of chiropractic and showed some X-ray examples of different problems he has seen during his practice.  Sitting in the chair listening to him explain things and seeing the different results for some of his patients I was already more impressed with his practice than either of the other chiropractors I had visited with in the past.

Next it was time to go over our individual X-rays.  My X-rays were on the lit up screen next to an X-ray of a healthy spine.  He showed me the comparisons.  My neck is too straight which I remember being a problem when I had my first chiropractic X-rays back in 2011 and I have an S curve in my spine, which I also recalled from my original X-rays.  The discs in my lower back were not bulging on these X-rays, but again, the curve was not what it should be.  My heart sank a little and I was overwhelmed with anger.

I began seeing a chiropractor when the pain in my lower back was so terrible I couldn’t function normally.  I had my X-rays and followed his plan coming in for visits three times a week for the first week or so, then twice a week for a few weeks, then once a week until he felt I could come in for regular adjustments.  After a while, I felt like he wasn’t listening to my needs so I had switched to a different chiropractor for my regular adjustments.  All that time and all that money I had spent and my X-rays looked remarkably similar to the X-rays that were taken in 2011, 4 years ago.  I was mad.

I told the chiropractor that I was mad and upset, and I blinked back the tears that were starting to form.  He spoke to me gently.  “We can fix this, I’m sure the other doctors are doing good for some people.”  My immediate thought that this doctor was too kind hearted.  We discussed a plan of action for both me and my son.  He explained that the shape that my spine is currently in makes my body have to work twice as hard to try to balance itself out which could account for my being tired all the time.  I laid down for my adjustment and immediately noticed a difference between how he adjusted me and how I had been previously adjusted.  He studied my X-rays intently before arranging me for the adjustment and he adjusted me more in a manner that seemed like it would work towards the goal of straightening where I needed straightening and curving where I needed more curve.

I went out front to talk to the receptionist about scheduling my treatment plan.  One of my sons books by Mercer Mayer, I Was So Mad played out in my head.  “I was just so mad.”  I told the receptionist how I felt.  She looked at me with kind eyes.  “I wish I could say that’s the first time I’ve heard a patient say that,” she told me, but I could tell by her tone it was a regular occurrence.

It makes me angry that it took me finding a doctor who really cares to realize that I wasn’t getting proper treatment from the other doctors.  It makes me mad that insurance doesn’t include “alternative” medicines that actually help people in their coverage, or when they do they don’t pay as much as they do for “traditional” medicine which is usually more invasive and involves pharmaceutical treatments.  It makes me angry that I have been trying to live a more healthy lifestyle and thought I was addressing problems, but it turns out those problems are still there. I am just so mad.

Even amidst the anger, I am also thankful.  I am thankful the universe led me to this doctor, and I am hopeful we can get to the root of the problem and get me back on track to where I want my health to be.



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