My least favorite question at this point in my life is, “When are you having another baby?”
What I would like to tell the person who asks me this is “It’s none of you fuc*ing business.” But today I was feeling polite and since I have to see this person on a regular basis at work instead I responded with, “I don’t know maybe when my 2 year old sleeps through the night every night. I have other goals I would like to get accomplished this year before I think about another baby” (My usual response it “Why don’t you come watch my child for a couple of days and then ask me that again. . .”)
I have a very high energy child. I come from an animal rescue background and children, especially babies and toddlers, are very comparable to puppies. . . if my child was a puppy he would be a Husky or some type of herding breed (Border Collie, Catahoula, Aussie Shepherd). In other words my child is smart as a whip with a need to be busy. (All my animal people will totally get this, for you non animal types, keep reading.)
I have a child who has never been a good sleeper and who has so much energy I still take naps when he does on the weekends just so I can keep up with him. He was an early crawler (4 months) and an early walker (9 months). Some of the first phrases we taught him during his super early movement phase were “Feet first” (so he would not fall on his head getting on the bed or couch or whatever else he was crawling around on) and “Careful, your head!” My husband and I seriously debated for a while about getting him a helmet. . .
So in all honesty, I don’t even know if I want another child. . . I have flickers of “it would be nice for the babe to have a sibling”, and then I have days where I think, “My God, Woman! You can’t handle another one, you can barely handle this one.”
People say that two children are easier and that all children have different personalities, so if you get a hard first child, your second will be a lot easier. (I have talked to one mom who thinks those lines are total bull and I would like to send a shout out to her and THANK HER for being HONEST!!!). Of course, knowing the way my luck runs I would end up with two super high energy kiddos instead of one if we venture down that path, but I’m not ready to even think about that right now. I really DO have other goals I’m trying to accomplish this year and baby would not fit into the plan at the moment. My husband and I have talked about it and decided we would re evaluate at the end of the year, but until then PLEASE STOP ASKING ME. (Even then please don’t ask me.)
I would like to offer some advice to all the nosey people out there who feel the need to ask this question. I would like to ask you to think about the following before you speak without thinking. . .. Maybe the person you’re asking this question to cannot have more children and really wants to. Maybe they don’t want any more children. Or maybe they are trying to have more children and are having a really hard time of it. The question of more children is a loaded one that could either piss someone off or conjure up some not so warm and fuzzy feelings. So, when the temptation to ask starts to tiptoe across your tongue, close your mouth. It’s really none of your business anyway.